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Building Self-Worth: Learn Self-Forgiveness

Tanisha Herrin

Forgiving yourself is another way of taking personal responsibility for your actions, especially when things don’t go the way you wanted or hoped. It is an aspect that deals with self-blame instead of blaming others for your actions. Lack of self-forgiveness leaves you in the past making it harder to move forward. Your self-worth suffers because it brings on feelings of helplessness and negative thoughts. There are significant reasons why it is necessary to forgive yourself when building self-worth.

Blaming Others Is Saying They Have Something You Don’t

Whether you are placing blame on a person or circumstance, you are saying the other party has power or strength you are lacking. When you don’t own up to your actions it like giving up or disowning the actions you did that were worthy. It is okay to admit mistakes and own up to what you didn’t do. It gives you permission to regain control. It may not be about who the bigger person is, but simply owning up to the fact that your behavior, attitude, or actions didn’t meet expectations. Too many times people take the easy way out by blaming someone else. If you feel someone else has what you lack you may be holding yourself to a lower standard.

It’s a Sign You Gave Up on Yourself

The last thing you want to do is show signs of giving up. Giving up is leaving the situation as is; it doesn’t make sense if there is something you can do to correct it. Your self-worth is based on your actions. Positive actions maintain or increase your worth. In this situation, placing blame on others is failing to be responsible. Even if you did do wrong making it right with appropriate action is better than doing nothing at all. When you show no action toward what you did wrong you gave up or didn’t bother to seek a solution. You don’t learn anything beyond blame you’re putting toward the other party. In such situations, it helps to take something away that can help you make better decisions in the future while learning to be more responsible.

Learn Healthy Ways to Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness can be a challenge but learning how to do it in a healthy manner will help you see value toward self-worth. Some have a hard time owning up to what they did. They may not have the motivation to do the right thing due to shame. It is exercising moral responsibility. Assess your emotions; you may feel bad or guilty about the situation and even get defensive. Release these feelings instead of letting them dwell within you; use it to drive you toward taking positive action to make things right. Take responsibility for what you did (own up to it) and learn to forgive others. Be empathetic toward others.

Who said self-forgiveness is easy? Few believe forgiving others is easier than forgiving themselves. It takes patience, but it helps to look at it from other perspectives. Self-forgiveness is giving yourself compassion and shows humility. When you are honest about what you did you show others you have good intentions to make amends.

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